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What you see you dont like.
What you like you dont see.

I can only see when the lights are on.

WOOW what was that?! Felt like a hurricane.

sauces without plastic makes me not fantastic

Wait, i completely forgot what you said to me as soon as i moved, sry.

Jenn spell aphrodite squirrel
Okay, A, P
wow oh slowdown.

“Imma tattoo "Yolo” into a hamster’s back, keep that bitch alive forever!“

A dick a day makes the frowns go away.

I dont believe in socks, they’re a constriction of your mind and your feet.

Your cute, i like to think im cute, your single, im single, your funny, i like to think im funny. Lets make this happen.

Virgin

We’re a crazy bunch of dudes.

I know half of you half as well as i would like, and i like less than half of you half as well as you deserve.

Why is the radio not a working situation right now?

I miss Ka-Blam

Have u guys noticed that dildos and penises are shaped the same?

Grass. Is carpet of the world.

U think that killing people will get them to like you. Its doesnt. IT JUST MAKES THEM ALL DEAD!

We’re golden. Crispy, like a french fry.

Let me remember

Its kinda hard to stick both your hands down your pants.

½!? 3/5, RUDE.

I wanna see how high u can get… On that swing.

GLEN’S DICK IS IN THE CLOUDS!

And i’ll tell you something else.. Bees. Exist!

Man, this beer would taste a whole lot better with a gallon of vodka.

Beer pong is a lot more fun with vodka.

He’s not completely useless, he just doesnt do anything.

Kevin is my warmth.

Calling "safe zone” doesnt save you.

Earlier today was yesterday.

Dont throw your tampons at me like im some sort of criminal.

I made the leaning tower of peza last night if u know what i mean.

This apple tastes.. Well.. My body is full of weed.

Things only get bad when you begin to worry about them. Dont trust in believing bad things will happen.
Just dont worry, it’ll work itself out.

I might as well be washing my hands in straight bleach.

#BigDickProbs

Yeah, this weed is good for smoking. Smoking is definitely is what this weed is to be used for. Statement.

There can only be one butt hole.

I dont care what it is, i just like climbing things

I feel like suitcases are tied to my eyelids.

Please for the love of god could someone tell me how one is to be a tangerine?!?!?

Goin up stream, yolo.

Chunk no captain chunk.

Today is august.

I broke my glass balloon.

Lets shave our faces even our eyes brows.

[“I haven’t seen you in a dicks age. ”
“What is that? 46?]

Im basically a black Bill Hader.

["Hey! Shh, Theres a baby in there.”
No, maybe they shouldnt put a baby over there.“]

Hold on i gatta hit this i cant do this.

Dude, we can live for days on this much bacon.

Hey hey couch couch nudge nudge wink wink, wanna take these drugs.

no you only have two hands.

Idk why this is, but when im drunk im way better at Tetris.

["Hey man, try to go 130 mph”
“No man, my engine will break before then.”
“Yolo”
“Well” *begins to excel car*]

“Wait. So do they think that people are just gunna runaround smoking weed harpooning people? What?”

“Whats that?

"All my recites.
Thats not even all of them.”

When you think about it. 69 is actually the most polite thing ever invented.

Dude, imma kick this corn mazes ass.

You’re never to old to burn to death in a fire.

You cant stain your shirt if you’re not wearing your shirt.

Butt holes are different from vaginas.

I just chipped my tooth on my vodka bottle, shit just got real.

Your ipod’s been gone for a cent.

Grab that bong.
No, u grab that bong, im already up.

What? You think when a man gets hit by a car, he has full control of his bladder?

We got alcohol, we got weed. And a lot of spare time. Lets get shit done.

I said share! Not scare!

I wanna hang out with people, not their TVs.

Brown period: the biggest shit you take in any given mouth, the shit that trumps every other shit taken in that month.

Taking a shot to start your morning doesnt count as drinking, its just a way to give yourself a “good morning hello” .

You are a plato and i am a rolling hill.

Me:I didnt know there was a rape scene in fantastic four.
Loren:yup.
Jenn: all over the place.

You’re Rolling in the dildos, sir.

Why are you being a chode wallet.

Imma finish jerkin off on the way home

Im a fat deer.

Who needs wAter when u have vodka.

No room for a nigga.

I feel like a flower! On a tree. In the middle of the ocean.

Those are some florescent nipples.

Lion king was the best movie ever made!

Keep your hands put away.

Do you know how many brain cell’s you have? Cuz apparently u start out with like a shit ton.

He puts his pills in a gravy jar.

Confidence, a quick wit and a cool head. All the things u need to get yourself out of any situation.

“What the fuck is this guy doing, its a monday morning!!”
“Na man, its friday afternoon.”

I dont have any bowls, i got a bowl in my pocket, but i aint got bowls for meh cereal.

I have a purple dress, that i like to put on.

No ass hole looks good.

“Where am i gunna get scissors?

idk, at the Great ass Scissors store? ”

If u can get past how bad is looks. Its not that bad.

I love girls who have balls. Paradise

Yeah man, rip that shit together.

You floppy fuck.

A cup cake fuck party.

[“Are you physically needy?”

“I want. To sleep on you.” ]

Nightmares and daydreams.

Tragedy plus time equals comedy.

I thought she declared a cum challenge. And shit got real.

I like sneezing on public mirrors.

Makeout party mondays.

Im dark AND lovely.

Look at the bears. Look at the bears. Look at the bears.

Off the top of my ass.

His soul is so beautiful, that it radiants through his face.

WHAT!!?? WE’RE DOING IT!

As long as theres one smoldering coal on the bbq of america, you can still cook a delicious stake, of justice.

When i poop my feet go numb.

And we got these mother fuckin two leggers?!?

Its like a loin’s mane mixed with a hours fuckin shit.

I broke a bunny.

Remember when your feet died?
No.

You need to finish october.

You just need to push it.
No.
Yeah.

He looks dopy as hell.

Look up “girl with half brain.”

I thought of helmets soldier could wear thats like a bulletproof dome.

Lets get dressed or something.

I feel like im cleaning ear wax outta santa’s dick.

Im a truthful person when i wanna be.

Jesus didnt have lips.

Old man, no rules.

*bored, waiting for cops to come*
“Man, we should of bringed some drugs”

Imma fly through the trees.

See its one of those tings i cant just writing down all willy nilly. Its a whole thing.

Shut up i gatta get these buggers outta my mouth. No wait i mean nose.

If i just didnt have any legs, my life would be so much better.

I wanna get my eye lids priced.

Buddy system, even the cops do it. They’re the ones who probably started it. Bitches being shot at.

This is how i do tree math.

I remember the day i told me dad i was fun.

Im gunna try to poof it.

Press pause for the cause.

I could be one armed.

Tub dance.

That hurt my eye to look at, did you see that?

I took a triangle and made into another triangle.

“She needed…
Im almost said she.
He needed his..”
“Ho hold up why didnt you stick with she!?!?”

Whats the name of that one bitch

We need to kill all the ugly animals.

I dont even know how he does what he does. He just does.

He forgot he didnt have a leg!!
THIS IS A LIGHTER !
THIS IS A LIGHTER!
I’ll flame a retard!

It’s like a tree.

Oh okay, so it works but it just doesn’t work.

I dont like to change my clothes based on the weather. I do what i want.

Im invisible til i die.

12 year old fuckers.

Thats my natural sitting spots.

Get the fuck outta here you fucking fuck.

What the fuck is a double hug?

This is weed not food.

Take that hit and do your shit.
~Dan Coles

We are now taking bong donation.

Tommy: Bryce loves when i do Arnold.
Tommy: Taylor is my master.

You got dead mom on the bottom of your foot.

You look hot as a… fish.

When life gives you a plate of good nachos, you dont question it.

You silly dick

I am jenn’s house area code.

It looks like it wants to form a cloud.

Gas station destination.

Coffee flavored lined paper.

Its not a real burger unless it has bacon.

Questions are the foundations for knowledge.

Reality is dependent on how the individual mind perceives it.

Im just happy with the overall state of my mind.

I wanna get my cat drunk and give him cat nip then put a cat batman suit on him. For ya know, those laughs.

1st chance i get, im stealing all of her shoes.

How many miles per year are you going?

Why are you thinking so hard just party hard

A Routine is for people who cant think of anything better to do on a daily bases.

The most dangerous thing you can do in a relationship is make a promise.

A pull-up a day keeps the hemroids away

“Smell this shit.”
“.Smells like chocolate.”

Can i have it on my face.

Squat n’ drop

Welcome to the fucking… Fuck, fuck off.

My fucking tits Are killing me

Fuck off imma go watch super-cross and jerk off.

This is what happens when a human comes outta another human.

We have beefy ass hotdogs.

The way i see it, i dont have to be good. I just have to be better than you.

Earlier

I wish i had the power to get any song stuck in anyone’s head.

Half of the teenage bitches were probably doomed to be the way they are because they grew up watching Bratz at a kid.

You can open your windows this
Isnt prison.
Shut your windows, nevermind.

I cant hear you when you yell at me.

Closet children.

Get your feet outta my nose.

Poor lucifer

He scars me because he’s black.

Lets smoke these donuts.

Theres to much weed in these activities

I was indulging in this blank piece of paper.

Awe its cold in my butt.

[“Goddess”

“WILL YOU SHIT THE FUCK UP. ”]

[“Wheres your butt hole?”
“Um, i think its over there.”]

This is the best monkey wrench money can buy.

Yo man. We got a lot of hotdogs left.

I dont know everything you know, man.

I hit my knees a lot with my face.

Ripped my face off, man.

Man, you should of seen me when i was in 8th grade, i was ripped!

Every morning after my coffee i always have some serious gas. #MorningWind

You can take the dog out of the horse, but you cant take the horse out of the meth labs.

What if everyone from history is someone from the future? #TimeTreavelingMotherFuckers

Its not easy being white

Im trying to fit my wrist around your foot.

I wish i had some glasses for my nipples.

I wont throw up, i promise.

Whip it out Wednesdays.

Breast fest.

My body doesnt do those things.

So i let him do it

He hit it so hard he broke his butt hole.

I dont want it to happen. But im okay if it does.

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.